So….there is this article on Redbook entitled “10 Things That Drive Men Crazy About Being Married”. I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents as well.
“Why does my wife feel the need to tell me every single detail about her friends’ lives? I love my wife, and I’m interested in what she says—unless it’s about her coworker Jill’s decision to get Botox. I haven’t met Jill, and have no opinion on the matter. And I’m sure Jill doesn’t care what I think, either.” – Charles, 39, married five years
Expert Rx: In general, guys want to know the point of a story before they hear it, says Jeremy Nicholson, Ph.D., a relationship psychologist. When you start talking about acquaintances they don’t know, their minds scramble to figure out the “so, what?” factor. If you’re looking for a gossip buddy, you’re better off chatting with your BFFs. But if you’re bringing up Jill’s plastic surgery because you want to gauge what your guy thinks of Botox, then start the conversation with that so he knows where things are headed.
Lulu: Hey dumbass, your wife is simply confiding in you. When you said “I do” you became her therapist and sounding board; she clears her mind with you. Whether you want to acknowledge it or even belive it, YOU are your wife’s best friend. Of course she is going to talk to you about EVERY aspect of her life, including her friends who get on her freaking nerves. You know why because you are her life partner, confidant, comforter, and friend. So suck it up.
“We’re not always a package. Sometimes, I don’t know where my wife is for the afternoon. That’s not weird—we’re individuals! But whenever I tell my buddies that, they look at me like I’m nuts.” — Nick, 40, married 10 years
Expert Rx: Alone time is a healthy and natural, but if you or your guy express that you’re starting to feel like two ships passing in the night, maybe it is time to peek into the ever-mighty schedule and shore up some time for just you two. Even if date night’s a given, there are other opportunities, like asking him to come grocery shopping, or waiting with you while you stand in line at the DMV. It’s actually the kind of stuff you used to do when you were dating, and it can still be surprisingly fun—the trick is asking your man (which sends the signal that he can get hero points) rather than expecting him to (which, as you guessed, does the total opposite).
Lulu: Your friends are insecure because they have whores as wives. I’m sure you can pick up your phone and call, email, or text to find out where she is. No biggie.
“Date nights. Don’t get me wrong—I love them—but the phrase sounds so forced.” — Brian, 31, married three years
Expert Rx: Nothing, including the name, about date night should feel obligatory. If you and your guy are a bit eh about the term, retire it in favor of Sunday Funday, Martini Monday… you get the point, suggests Laurie Puhn, a couples mediator and author of Fight Less, Love More. And switch it up. Instead of the same dinner and a movie combo, head to a local ice hockey game or spend the evening on a scavenger hunt around town in search of the best slice of pizza.
Lulu: Seriously? Why must hanging out with your wife have a title? Next!!!